so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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