eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
