Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
