Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
