I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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