He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
