Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
