I faked an abortion last night.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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