im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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