she was so not down for the gang bang
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Come on in and take your pants off
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