Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
