wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
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