i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
