FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize