I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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