so that wasnt chicken after all
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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