I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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