I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
you made out with another girl for some wings
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
