I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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