I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
