You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
