remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
