Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize