haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
