I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize