It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
