and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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