thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize