No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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