Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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