I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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