We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
