The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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