I wish I could punch you in the face.
My friends, they love my intelligence
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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