Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize