i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
