did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
you inspire me to be a worse person
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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