Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm at about main and main street
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
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