seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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