weddingsv make me drug and hornr
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
