I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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