Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
