she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
My dad is sitting where you rode me
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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