they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Hippo gnu deer
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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