covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
