the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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