After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
