There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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