How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
