I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
