i don't like sucking hair
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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