Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
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