if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize