My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Liz is crying about burritos again.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
