I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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