I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize