I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
