I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
