Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
