Pants 0. Shit 1.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
