He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
